Guide to Healthy Civil Discourse

"I never considered a difference of opinion in politics, in religion, in philosophy, as cause for withdrawing from a friend." - Thomas Jefferson 

A civil discourse is a conversation in which there is a mutual airing of views. It is not a contest; rather, it is intended to promote mutual understanding. Civil discourse follows general rules of polite behavior. This does not mean that you have to behave like Mr. or Ms. Manners, but it does mean that there are certain behaviors that make everyone uncomfortable and that indicate that a conversation has turned hostile and unproductive. 

There is really just one rule of Civil Discourse: Don’t make it personal. This means to stick to the issues. In a civil discussion, you use logic, persuasion, evidence, information and argumentation to make a point or defend a position, but you would not attack the other individual personally. Civil discourse means being respectful of the other person and his or her views. Each person in a civil discourse is entitled to his/her own opinions and is entitled to be treated with respect and dignity. 

What is not civil discourse: Being disrespectful is not engaging in civil discourse. Here are some disrespectful behaviors that are typically considered out of bounds: profanity, name-calling*, derogatory terms (stupid, ignorant…), shouting, insulting body language (such as eye-rolling), insulting tone of voice (baby talk, speaking “down” to a person), ridicule, open hostility, biting sarcasm, any other disrespectful acts or ad hominem attacks, threats, or any behavior that could get a person banned from a social media site. 

A central theme of disrespectful discourse is that it employs tactics designed to dismiss the other person, rather than engage with the other argument. 

[*Name-calling can include words ending in –ist, or –phobe or beginning with anti – and similar critical terms. It also includes derisive terms like “snowflake” or “feminazi.” These are modern, politicized variations on name-calling but are still dehumanizing labels that can be considered hurtful and counterproductive when used to condemn or demonize a person or their ideas. They can diminish a person’s dignity while stifling the ability to engage in dialogue. All name-calling can be considered dehumanizing and an attempt to reduce and minimize a complex person to one diminished thing in order to then dismiss his/her argument without considering it. It is an attack on the other person’s character. In a civil discussion, you attack the argument, never the person making it.] 

Ultimately, the people involved in a discussion get to decide what is “civil” and what is not; some people can insult one another quite happily and remain friends. It typically depends on how well you know the other person. It can be very helpful to state clearly what is “out of bounds” before a discussion, but in real life, that isn’t always possible. 

 If you find yourself in a discussion that turns incivil, the best response is to respond directly to the problematic behavior and its effects on you, not the other person. So, for example, if the other person calls you a derogatory term during a discussion, the proper response would be to simply say: “I don’t like being called names. It hurts my feelings.” If the person recognizes that s/he has crossed the line into incivil tactics, then the discussion can proceed, but if not, it is probably best to end the discussion politely, because it is no longer civil or productive. The other person is likely taking it too personally to engage in a civil discourse at this time. 

You can be a role model for how to engage in civil discourse for others. How you deal with an antagonist may have a profound effect on the other person. If you deal with them calmly, with manners and respect and dignity, they are apt to feel remorse and behave better in future encounters. If you resort to name-calling or other incivil tactics in response to poor behavior, then you will be contributing to the rise of incivil discourse in our culture. 

Remember: you can disagree and still remain friends. 

Reference: Guide to Civil Discourse for Students

As Astonishing as it Appears...

Looking around I see,

A world not how it is,

But rather how my mind,

Has made it out to be.


What is seen,

A mental formulation,

The mind itself - a magical display,

A singular equality transposed within apparent opposition.


The mind does not have a body,

And the body does not have a mind.

There is only mind,

And within mind a body appears.


The body is not separate from mind,

And mind is not separate from the body.


Solidity and form, the marks of true existence,

Mere mental construction, only shadows of what's real,

Along with all the senses,

They too are mere appearances.


Characteristics do not exist separately,

But only arise within the field of awareness,

Together with perceiver as a unity,

Even though appearance suggests otherwise.


The self as actor in a play, arises in dependence on mind,

Purely mental construct, or projection;

The sense of self arises within the context of awareness,

As an object of mind, yet inseparable from mind.


Throughout it all,

True inner essence shines deeply from within.

Hidden only by virtue of eyes,

Facing outwardly instead of in.


While such a sense of self appears as separate and fully independent,

This self is, in fact, the mere product of unconscious cogitation.

The end result of mind experiencing itself,

As both awareness and object of awareness.


At all times, the personal self is illusory.

Therefore, one recognizes the imprint of delusion whenever the personal self appears on the scene.

For delusion means that what appears one way,

Turns out to be another.


Objects, for example, appear to exist inherently,

Yet only arise while in perception with a perceiver.

In truth, perceiver and what is perceived are a singular expression of mind.

Duality is therefore a misperception, and separateness a myth.


The appearance of inherent existence is a complete fabrication of mind.

All distinction is imagination solidified over aeons of time into the habitual perception of characteristics.

This is the secret of the appearance of objects found within day to day perception.

However, upon close inspection such objects cannot be found to exist as concretely as they appear.


Delusions are created and sustained by habitualized mental constructions known as concepts.

Such constructions are learned and developed over time,

Eventually becoming the totality of one's experience.

They are then reinforced through unconscious habit.


Such mental constructs are directly unreachable by the conscious mind.

This is what it means to be unconscious.

They are not easy to find,

And difficult to modify.


The personal self lives in a world of concepts which it cannot move beyond.

It is imprisoned in a world of pure mental construction,

And yet it believes that such a life is truly real, truly solid and truly separate,

Never tasting freedom, and never knowing a true life's potential.


Within the landscape of mental constructedness,

One experiences "heaven" or "hell" where no such things exist.

As neither are purely objective, or inherently and separately existent.

Appearing only in dependence upon the mind, and upon its current, relative persuasion.


The experience of heaven or hell is only that of the illusory personal self.

And even so, within this context one of pure subjectivity,

Heaven and hell depend on one's particular conceptual map,

An active framework of concepts functioning day and night from one's unconscious mind.


It is therefore only one's "map" that determines the nature and quality of experience.

As this map is completely invisible to those who aren't aware,

Or to those who don't look,

Most never find it.


It is, however, findable and can easily be seen,

By simply observing one's immediate experience.

While the map is NOT the territory it is supposed to represent,

It IS precisely one and the same as the territory of one's personal experience.


So to find the map,

All that is needed,

Is to look directly at one's current experience.

They are one and the same, indivisible.


And then it's best to let it go completely,

Or at least as much as one can.

For believing that one's map is identical to reality,

Is the cause of much confusion and needless suffering.


Reality can be experienced directly,

But not in the way that most have become accustomed.

Reality arises only when the conceptual activity of the mind ceases.

For many, such activity never ceases.


Because reality transcends conceptualization,

One cannot describe it or understand it with concepts.

One can only point towards it,

And even this can at times be problematic.


None of this is new,

Discovered by saints and holy beings long, long ago.

Even so it still seems new in the West,

Where clinging to Newton is more popular.


In spite of the fact that for over a hundred years,

Western scientists have observed phenomena in much the same way,

Confirming what was taught by the wise,

Over two and a half thousand years before today.

Mastodon

The Map is Not the Territory

Mental distinctions and concepts create everything that appears,
Including the notions of singularity, permanence, and independence.
Through habit one's mental map is formed and invisibly sustained,
The map is one's experience, but it is not the territory it represents.

Ignoring the existence of the map,
Is to live in delusion and ignorance.
Without awareness, the map becomes a mental prison without an exit,
With walls that can't be seen.

Just as recognizing the lack of mindfulness is mindfulness itself,
So recognizing the presence of the map is freedom from its subtle bondage.
The map is all that appears, and is the root of all appearances.
Freedom from the map is therefore freedom from all appearances.

The formation of the map is mindless habit and lack of wisdom.
Wisdom and insight, the fruits of meditation, illuminate the map with awareness.
Under the light of awareness and focused attention, the map gradually dissolves.
Dissolution of the map is the end of delusion.

Each moment lived without a map is a moment lived in Wisdom.
Living in Wisdom means to be truly alive, to touch reality directly.
To be truly alive is to penetrate the barrier between self and other,
True life begins when all experience dissolves into one taste.

The sutras say, "Those who free themselves from all appearances are called buddhas."
Life with multiple tastes is bondage to unconscious discrimination and self-created delusion.
Life with only one taste is freedom and enlightenment.
The key is to recognize the existence of the map.

Not seeing the map perpetuates samsara without end.
Seeing the map is the cessation of samsara.
Seeing the map transcends karma.
To see the map is to see emptiness.

Emptiness is the lack of mistaken distinction.
As everything depends on everything - nothing is inherently distinct, in spite of all appearances.
What appears as separateness, is merely mental imputation by way of unconscious distinction.
Without distinction, there is no appearance of separateness - no objects, and even no entities.

As everything is dependent,
Nothing is completely independent.
If nothing is independent, there is no duality.
Dependently arisen, everything is empty of inherent separateness.

Making distinctions where no distinctions truly exist,
Is false imagination.
Mistaking the map for the territory,
Is living in a world of endless dreams.

Mistaking dream worlds for true reality,
Even though they have little or nothing to do with true reality.
Actions are forever misguided and mistaken, based on confusion and distortion.
In this way, we perpetuate the suffering of samsara.

Distinction must always include that which is distinguished and that which is distinguished from.
Conceptual objects can only appear against the non-appearance of their opposite.
In this way, opposites are both singular and mutually dependent.
Without distinction, there is only equality.

Something can only be known in relation to and in dependence upon its opposite.

Personal Discourses: Penetration III

Penetration III
Pure being (as pure emptiness) and the appearances of conventional mind (as existing on an absolutely solid foundation) are simultaneously present as one in the same, while appearing to be separate and opposite.
They are simply the extreme ends of the mind's focal point of awareness.  
One from the perspective of separate identity captivated by myriad false appearances, and the other from the perspective of ultimate unity with the pure essence of inherent being.
They exist in dependence of each other, experienced in mind as the balancing point of awareness between the two extremes. 
Closer to the extreme of apparent absolute existence, the sense of a separate self appears more solid with experience becoming more and more rigid and definitive.
Closer to the extreme of pure emptiness, the sense of a separate self softens with experience becoming more and more open, expansive, and ineffable.
Without pure emptiness, a world of endless myriad appearances cannot appear.
Without the suffering of samsara, there is no bliss in nirvana.

Personal Discourses: Penetration II

Penetration II (03/21/12)

"Without A Name..."

Knowledge without wisdom is habit without substance.
Not questioning appearances results in misperception.
A confused mind sees separate identity where none exists.
Identity believing it knows something, knows less than nothing.

There is nothing to know,
And no one to know it.
There is knowing,
But knowing there is knowing, is not knowing.

All concepts are only empty representations,
Easily mistaken for what they represent.
Without light confusion multiplies,
Traveling from generation to generation.

Misapprehending the illusory nature of appearances,
New forms of self and other arise.
A new season's coat for the mind,
Passing new adornments for imagination's grand facade.

Obscured by deep conditioning,
Tossed by the turbulent waters of discursive mental churning,
The only path to freedom is negation of all conceptual distinctions, Most importantly, that of a separate "me" and "you".

Although incomprehensible,
Mind is reality itself without division.
From division, the mind sees itself moving,
Wisdom, however, reveals only the shining of the sun.

Before shining,
Clouds appear as "me" and "you."
When shining, 
The sun's rays reveal the open sky.

Standing next to reality,
Separate identity is like the earth standing next to the sun,
The earth must exist in order to know the sun,
And the sun only exists because it is known by the earth.

The earth does not know that it is the sun,
Even though it is completely immersed in the sun's radiation.
And even though it is only because of this that the earth lives.
And even though within its outer mantle is the fiery heart of a sun.

Without separation there is no joy in re-union.
So do not despair when in the darkness of the moon's shadow.
This is the time to look within,
To find the sun shining on the other side of the moon within your very own heart as well.

The sun is always shining, inseparable though not always seen,
In fact, it is the sunlight shining in your eyes right now,
Which is the very seeing of your mind and the beating of your heart.
As clouds begin to settle, blue skies emerge without effort.

Resting in the open meadow,
The mind is the sky and wind, clouds passing by,
The sun is the heart and warm blood coursing through veins,
Spring flowers fill the air with the sweet fragrance of peace rising as the morning sun.  

Blue eyes awake on the edge of a brand new day,
To wipe the tears of a long night's sleep.
Breath returns again, now lighter and fresh,
Rising gently to the sound of morning birds.






In the Madhyantavibhaga:

False imagination (consists of)
The minds and mental factors of the three realms,
Here, consciousness is the seeing of a referent,
While mental factors (refer to seeing) its distinctive features.

One is the conditioning consciousness,
And the second (kind) is what consumes.
What consumes, discriminates,
And sets the (mind) in motion are the mental factors. [2]

The Bodhicitta-vivarana reads:

The imaginary, the other-dependent,
And the perfect, their nature being
The character of emptiness alone,
Are labels for the mind.

For those whose character is delight in the Mahayana,
The Buddha's teaching is in brief:
Phenomena are identityless and equality,
And mind is primordially unborn.

The Madhyantavibhaga goes on to say:

Consciousness arises as the appearance of referents,
Sentient beings, a self, and cognizance,
But it does not have an external referent.
Since that does not exist, it does not exist either.

The imaginary, the other-dependent,
And also the perfect,
Are explained through referent, false imagination,
And the non-existence of duality.

The Acintyastava says:

What is dependent origination
Is precisely what you maintain as emptiness.
Also the genuine dharma is like that,
And even the Tathagata is the same.

It is also held to be true reality, the ultimate,
Suchness, and the basic substance.
This is the undeceiving reality.
Through realizing it, one is called a Buddha.[3]

Notes:
[1]- Since the seeming is false, impermanent, deceiving and illusion-like, what appear as the abodes, objects, and bodies of sentient beings in the three realms, consisting of the eight consciousnesses are merely false imagination.  In Praise of Dharmadhatu, by Nagarjuna, commentary by the Karmapa III.


[2]-Since these consciousnesses arise in dependence on false imagination, they are not real.  But since they originate dependently and appear, they are not non-existent either.  Hence, they are called "other-dependent."

The meanings as they are designated in dependence on these other-dependent appearances, their discriminations, their latent tendencies, and their appearing as if they were (actual) referents (all) come about like a mirage and (thus) are called "the imaginary nature," because what is non-existent is imagined as existent.

The root of such mistaken-ness is just that the stainless dharmadhatu itself is not aware of itself, while there is not the slightest thing that is really established.

[3]-Therefore, due to the stained dharmadhatu as the cause of samsara having become pure, there is not contradiction in referring to it with the term "nirvana."

Personal Discourses: On Cutting Through Delusion...

Cutting Through the Veil of Delusion (3/20/12)....

All differentiation is imagination. [1]
All imagination is mind only.
Differentiation appears as self-existence where no self-existence exists.
Differentiation appears as self-arising where no self-arising arises.

All appearance is mental fabrication.
All fabrication is unconscious habit. [2]
Mental fabrication creates the reflection of the moon on water.
Seeing only the reflection, mind believes a moon to exist where no moon exists.

Just the same, fixating on appearances as if they are truly 
  self-existent, independent and separate objects as they appear, [3]
The mind cannot see its own mirror-like nature. [4]
Beyond all appearances being reflected within it, the mirror-like
   quality of mind exists beyond existence and non-existence. [5]
The moon's reflection as a mental fabrication of mind exists only as
   mental fabrication. [6]

Mistaking mental fabrication for what truly exists is the root of all
   delusion and suffering.
Before, during and after differentiation there is only the reflective, 
  mirror-like quality of mind.
In between there is only the appearance of a separate mind, like the 
  moon's reflection on water, where no such mind truly exists. [7]
Mistaking our "selves" as the image within the mirror, rather than
  the mirror itself is the fundamental misperception.

A hurried mind obscures what the slow mind reveals. [8]
Emptiness is emptiness of that which obscures the true nature of
   mind.
Conventional thinking is not other than mind's mirror-like essence.
And mind's mirror-like essence is not other than conventional 
  thinking. [9]

Relaxing differentiation is abiding in one-pointed wakefulness,
    Ineffable clear light radiating beyond comprehension. [10]
Preceding differentiation is abiding in meditative equipose,
    Buddha practicing without seeking to become a buddha. [11]

------
Footnotes
------
[1] - "Anything perceived should be understood to be neither more nor less than a self-manifestation of the mentality internal to a specific observer."  Mipham, Distinguishing Wisdom and Appearance. 

[2] - "Given 'what appear to be outer' and 'perceivable in common', such as mountains and so on, as the postulated subject, these are not outer referents discrete from the inner consciousness and existing with a material essence, because they are the inner 'perceiving awareness' itself appearing as the image of this and that outer referent for those whose operative habitual tendencies correspond, just like forms in a dream."  Mipham, Distinguishing Wisdom and Appearance.  Automatic, unconscious mental fabrication is also known as conventional or conditioned mind.

[3] - As if the moon's reflection were the moon itself.

[4] - The still and empty surface of the water upon which the moon's image is reflected.  "..these phenomena which do not exist and yet appear, prevent what does exist from the outset -- namely, the abiding nature, the freedom from the two forms of self - from appearing to ordinary beings."  Mipham, Distinguishing Wisdom and Appearance.

[5] - Its essence merely obscured by the various mental fabrications appearing within it; beyond reach of intellectual understanding through language, ideas and concepts.

[6] - Being mind only its essence is insubstantial, even though it appears to be substantial to conventional (or conditioned) mind.

[7] - There is no separately existing "self" that exists as it appears to our conventional mind.  That which is reflected  within the mirror-like essence of mind is appearance only which is fleeting, and insubstantial.  Like a mirage it is ungraspable, and holds nothing that can satisfy our desires that continually chase after it, ultimately hoping to hold on to it - not understanding its true nature of emptiness and ungraspability. 

[8] - "The two, known as phenomena and pure being, are not the same in essence nor do they differ in essence.  They are not the same conventionally because a distinction exists between phenomena and pure being.  Pure being, naturally pure nirvana, is 'that which exists' from the beginning as the abiding nature.  The phenomenal world, with its dualistic appearances that make it samsara, is 'that which does not' exist in reality as it appears.

And yet it should be understood that they are not separate for the following reasons:

a. If the one did not exist, its counterpart would not either.

b. Strictly speaking, pure being, other than being distinguishable from the phenomenal world as its mere lack of verifiable existence, does not exist separately.

c. The distinction between the existent (pure being) and the non-existent (the phenomenal world) is relative, being a differentiation merely with respect to what is to be adopted and what is to be rejected; other than that, there is not even the slightest existence of an actual essence constituting these as separate entities." Mipham, Distinguishing Wisdom and Appearance.

[9] - See note "re: manifestation of delusion" below.

[10] - "The awareness not involving an object/observer relation in being free of all aspects of perceived / perceiver duality is by nature ineffable clear light itself."  Mipham, Distinguishing Wisdom and Appearance.

[11] - "It is not differentiable from 'suchness,' the actually present aspect empty of the two forms of self-entity.  It cannot be conceived or formulated in terms of "outer," "inner," or any other phenomena associated with perceived and perceiver, and is therefore asserted to be free of conceptual elaborations." Mipham, Distinguishing Wisdom and Appearance.

Note Re: Manifestation of Delusion
"One might consider it untenable for non-dual pure being to actually be present (i.e. to exist) from the outset yet not appear, while dualistic appearances (which are delusion) manifest.  But this is not untenable because, throughout the course of time 'without beginning,' the habitual tendency toward appearance involving perceived / perceiver dualism coexists with the clear light nature of mind in a manner which obscures that very nature, such that a volatile state, that is, an excitable condition or state of ferement, prevails, thus providing the cause through which delusion originates hand in hand with samsara.

On the other hand, one might suppose that as a consequence of their coexisting in a beginningless fashion, dualistic appearance would be impossible to relinquish, but this is not the case either, because 'the duality of perceived and perceiver's not existing at all is what really exists.  When one meditates with such an understanding, this will be seen directly."  Mipham, Distinguishing Wisdom and Appearance.

Short Personal Pith Instructions....

---1---

All differentiation is imagination.

All imagination is mind.

---1A---

Differentiation appears as self-existence,

Where no self-existence exists.

---1B---

Differentiation appears to be self-arisen,

Where no self-arising arises.

---1C---

All appearance is unconscious mental fabrication.

---1D---

Reality and imagination are not separate things.

Reality "as it appears" is imagination appearing as form.

Reality "as it is" is accessible, but unexplainable.

---2---

Where there is other, there is duality.

Recognizing other is freedom from duality.

---3---

Not perceiving the underlying process of pure mental fabrication leads to mistaken notions.

Believing mistaken notions to be true is living in delusion.

Living in delusion is the primary cause of suffering.

Freedom from delusion is possible.

---4---